I am Low and Alone!!!!!

I am feeling pretty low because of several incidents that has happened to me off late. Few of them are as given below:

1. I have been working for the Customer Service Operation team (for laymen its AFTER SALES SERVICES, basically) for quite sometime now. A year has passed after I have joined this organization where I am working. It is part of one of the largest multinational group of companies from India and boasts of strong Ethics and Values. I was promised that I will be confirmed after a year of joining based on the ratings I get or will be given a further time to prove myself before getting confirmation. A year has passed day before yesterday and I suppose I have fared pretty well to get confirmed. Yet I have no idea yet whether I will be confirmed or not. Neither I have any idea about the ratings I have received being a Management Trainee last year. Being the only son of old parents my future is hanging like a ripe mango just about to fall.

Basically I am optimistic kind of a guy but even with the last drop of optimism I have within me I am not able to cheer myself up. Do not even know by when I will be getting confirmation.

2. This is quite related to the hanging state of myself in the company. Being in such a state things are really getting difficult to me at workplace. I am not able to concentrate properly and the result is lacklustre show this month. Everyday I promise to put up the best show but the motivation factor gets a hit after hearing so many things about the future of Management Trainees in this company. Result: I am committing mistakes at an abnormally high rate which is highly unlike the REAL ME!!!!

3. This one is amazing. One of my friends got fired from his company a fortnight ago. Neither he nor did anyone of my so called "close" friends bothered to inform me. The reason being I might disclose the same to his parents (what the fuck???? I guess I at least have that much sense to judge which things are to be revealed to parents and which are not!!!!!).

To add injury to insult some bastard has already revealed to his parents about his firing. And all the close friends of him (and supposedly close friends of mine also!!!) have started doubting ITS ME!!!! I really got hurt yesterday when I was tried to get into an interrogation session like those done to criminals by police!!!! Those assholes could have asked the same in a much polite way. And I used to think those bastards as friends for a lifetime.

4. My ex GF is going to get married and informed about the same to me. She was sounding a little bit dull as she could not marry her current boy friend (the reason being his parents did not approve of, and he rightfully followed his parents decision). I tried to console her a little bit and WTF she started bursting on me and blaming me that I am making fun of her situation!!!!

To summarise things are not getting alright with me these days. I was writing a poem yesterday and it was getting well when I got distracted because of all these miseries happening all at a time and lost the cue. That is kept incomplete and do now know when I will get into a mood to finish that off.

Thought of writing that poem in this post but see what I have written in place of that. Sigh!!!!!