Things keep on happening around me!!!!

Well first things first: The trip to Matheran was amazing. There were some incidents that should not have happened (like me calling D sick, though I wanted to tell something different but that particular word came out of my mouth). Lots of snaps were shot: the silent evidences that talk louder than anything else and take us back in the memory lane even after the trip would have fazed out of our mind.

I haven’t written for quite sometime (may be 4-5 days since my last blog was updated). Lots of significant happenings happen around me. Some are more significant while other are less significant. In the mean time I was able to track 2 more chameleons among the so called friends here among the MTs. Now days they don’t surprise me rather it feels as if it is unnatural if I don’t spot a few at a place.

Now coming to some important conversations. On my trip to Matheran suddenly someone chipku friend calls me up. Lets call her PD for instance. Now here is how the conversation goes:

PD: hello dear how r u?
Me: hey I am fine…. Wassup after so many days? Everything is fine na? (this bugger calls me up whenever anything is wrong in her life, mostly caused by her useless boyfriend).
PD: Yes absolutely fine, I have called you to give a stunning news. Today mom called me up and told me that they (her parents) have a cherished dream of seeing her getting married to me!!!! I told u na that I loved you so much but could never tell you and always had a dream of getting married to you. I think now life is going in the right track.
Me (absolute stunned, confused and not getting any word to utter): What????? Yeah I do remember u told me something like that somedays back. Well how all this happened and why did aunty tell such a thing to you today???
PD: well your mother made a visit to my house and discussed about us, more about what you like and dislike about girls. My mother got a hint and invited your parents for a lunch party. She (her mom) told me that any day that guy tells you about marrying you don’t say no. Ah, I am so happy that my cherished dream is coming true.
Me (absolutely speechless): Well….Ummmm…….there is some signal problem here. I am not able to hear you properly. Can I talk to you after I have reached home?????

The remaining part of the conversation in the next blog!!! Let the suspense remain!!!!

Strange things happen around you turning insignificant days into significant ones!!!!

Some days go just insignificant. Today was one such day of my life. There is nothing worth for which I can feel any sense of achievement today. Moreover feeling a little bit guilty as I whiled away most of the times today doing nothing in the office. I can sense a complacency getting developed inside me. I hate this complacency as it decreases my efficiency. So the best thing to do is to hit back from tomorrow morning once again with full vengeance. I smell danger whenever I feel like “yes Soum you are working very well”. Sometimes I feel when it comes to work there should not be anything that is WELL in my dictionary. That’s when I can match my hidden potential and work the best.

Now it’s time for some strange incidents. Yesterday one of the management trainees residing with us in the same apartment [different flat although :-)] comes to my house and enquires about my cell phone. I have a Nokia 2505 CDMA with me which has served quite well. But again there is something that people say is: farther the things, merrier they look. Hence, despite my cell serving so well I was tempted to try out the one that is used by most of my fellow MTs, Samsung Explore. We ended up in a healthy negotiation of swapping our phones (lots of swapping happening off late in my life in such diverse domains like phone, project stints lolllzzzz, hope better swapping to come my way J) and did that. I was happy with his one though it had some scratches and the color had faded at some parts.

Today morning the bugger calls up and tells that the Samsung people will replace the set and he will give me a new Samsung Explore and take this old one from me. I was a little skeptical with the proposal as I sensed something fishy getting cooked up in that bugger’s mind. Now around 3 o’ clock a call comes from the bugger telling me that the battery of my Nokia set is not that good and its not helping him out as he has to make long calls and lots of calls during a day. That bastard shows interest in changing our handsets once again i.e. taking back our respective original phones with us. That’s all I wanted to share. Now readers analyze this!!!!! I hate people who make a decision and can’t stand with it. I hate myself too for feeling the farther the field is the greener it looks!!!!!!!

When I feel nothing at heart, my brain starts working!!!!

A goes to Delhi, B his GF wants to go to Delhi. Looks like quite obvious thing ain’t it? But there is a problem. The problem was whether I will agree to swap my project with B and give her my Delhi stint or not. Though she never knows it but I have identified her as one of the a**h*les present here, one of the chameleons I was referring in yesterdays blog. Looks like an Ekta Kapoor’s K soap eh? Will S agree to swap his stint with B? Will B be able to go Delhi with her a**h*le boyfriend? Lots of questions ain’t it?

Two ethical principles guided my decision in this regard. First one: Greater good for a larger population and second one: Ends justify means. Well a third one can also be put here, my own one: when I don’t consider one as my friend then the only thing that goes on in my mind is: BUSINESS.

B has the dream stint I always wanted to get: Marketing Communications or Marcomm as called here in TCL. So the deal seems valid to me: B gives me Marcomm and in exchange I give her Delhi. Hope now the higher authority (read HR guys) does not make a mountain out of a mole and help us with this swap. Moreover in this whole swapping process I will be totally latent with only A and B coming in the picture. I will only come in picture if its needed for my good. Any ways I will never get another fool who will want to exchange a Marcomm profile for a Channel Sales. So for me grab the opportunity as it comes!!!!

Chameleons everywhere, they change their color so fast!!!

Today was a significant day for me. Thanks to somebody today I could find out some Chameleons out here among my so called friends in Tata Communications. I just don’t understand what is the problem of these bastards, why can’t they just speak their hearts out? These buggers behave so good before that idiots like me get into the trap of believing them and end up being a prey of them. They spread rumors, do a lot of vague talking behind you so that people who have not even interacted with you feel like you are actually the same way they portray you to them. Guys do it nicely but even girls after getting so friendly to me, caring so much for so many days – shit man how can they do it yaar. This bunch of losers actually makes me feel that nobody is trustable in this world apart from your parents. Value, ethics, and judgment all these words get ashamed of because of such a behavior of them. And what an irony!!! These people work under the TATA group – one of the most ethical and morally upright groups doing business in this world.

Whom to trust? Whom to consider your friend here in this ugly corporate world? I feel like hitting all of them and making this country a little bit more bastard free. But just can’t help it. These people are there everywhere, they are like VODAFONE – wherever you go their network follows. Today its me tomorrow it will be another Soum.

One thing is clear that the frolic, lively Soum has to be non existent. I have to change for good, otherwise these a**h*les will make my living even more unworthy here. I feel like an idiot who have been fooled by people day after day. I feel like an optimistic bastard who never stops trusting people despite getting hurt due to their dual nature of existence. Time has come to teach them a lesson!!!!

My life and the words unsaid to all!

I did put on my thinking cap and brooded over the lost relationship one more time. But believe it or not every time I thought about the broken relationship, the more committed I wanted to be - for the lady who has left me only with one last promise to be kept forever.....a promise of never coming back. How is life after that? He he its nice actually........waiting for phone calls that are never made, waiting for someone to take care of mine sitting several hundred miles away from me which does not happen these days, waiting for someone to all and ask to sing her favorite songs and ending up singing those songs for my loneliness, brooding over my past happy days and thinking about those crucial points in the relationship where I had made mistakes....yes now I think only had I not made any mistake nothing worse would have happened after all no one can clap with a single hand right!!!! I don't regret any more for them because first of all no use......its very very filmy that you repent for something wrong and everything becomes alright. In real life you are really lucky if you get a second chance........be it anything! Often in life you never get a second chance.

Well people told me to move on in life after all that is what all should do. I listened to them and moved on in life. Did a few adventures and misadventures with love but every time I did that there was something inside that used to tell me I am committing another mistake to hide the previous mistakes and at the end of the day I ended up deleting all the new made net friends in rediffbol, avoiding some of my then good friends (girls obviously) who quite surprisingly to my assumption were interested in me [Well its my assumption......I might be wrong ;-)]. In the mean time I moved up in life, penned several lyrics and poems, made some good friends and lost them at some point of time, saw best of my days here in b school, gave a thought to my old school of thought and found me more accepting and accommodating with thoughts and philosophies of Rishabh (Surprisingly Yes it is TRUE). I even bagged a placement - yes in every respect I moved ahead in life. I smiled every time i felt like crying, I dreamed I every time I was about to see another nightmarish day, I loved my life every time I felt no one loves me, I tried to get attracted to lady every time I remembered her - and believe me I was successful in all these endeavors except for one thing..........every time I wanted go away the more I ended up loving her. I don't know how many people will believe these words of mine but probably this is one of the occasions of my life where I have been so candid.

I have moved ahead in every aspect so far in life except for one thing love!!!! If lust were everything in love I probably would have moved ahead easily (rather there would not have had any stuff like moving ahead at all) but the beauty of love is that lust has nothing to do with it. I dream of success, I work for it and I will achieve all that are achievable in life except for a thing - I may not be able to love anyone in my life again. Apart from that long live dreams and aspirations. Long live to the dreams and aspirations of every single creature in this world. One more thing next time you go for a break up people please think of whether the 1000 reasons for which you are breaking up are strong enough to counter the fact that you love her/him. Hope she stays happy throughout her life with her new found and everlasting love :-).

I do remember of these lyrics from the movie Veer Zaara - a classic love story which describe me very well:

Jaane Kyun, Khwaabon Ka Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Jaane Kyun, Yaadon Ki Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Yaadein, Laayi Hain, Khushiyaan Bhi, Aansoo Bhi

Jaane Kyun, Ik Aisa Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Barse Jo Rang Itne Saare, Rangeen Huwe Sab Nazaare

Lekin Mera Dil Kahin Bhi, Lagta Nahin Bin Tumhaare

Tumko, Bas Tumko, Dil Dhhoondhhe Dil Maange

Jaane Kyun, Har Lamha Ye Sitam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Ye Sitam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Jaane Kyun, Khwaabon Ka Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Ye Vaadi Ab So Gayi Hai, Kohre Mein Hi Kho Gayi Hai

Saari Fiza Saans Roke, Gumsum Si Ab Ho Gayi Hai

Saari, Duniya Mein, Ab Koyi Nahin Jaise

Jaane Kyun, Bas Mera Hamdam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Hamdam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Jaane Kyun, Yaadon Ki Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Yaadein, Laayi Hain, Khushiyaan Bhi, Aansoo Bhi

Jaane Kyun, Ik Aisa Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Hope you got bored after reading this he he ;-)

TaArE ZaMeEn PaR!!!!!!!!

I never thought I will end up writing about a movie in my blog. But TARE ZAMEEN PAR deserved to break that promise. Every time in life I faced a problem or I got hurt by someone I used to think that I am the most unlucky person of this world. I used to feel dejected, lost and finished. Its another facet of my life that I being an optimistic person don't take lessons from the deceptions and continue believing on people further to get hurt more and more. But that is not the agenda to describe how I am what I want to tell is that after watching TARE ZAMEEN PAR I recollected whether I ever got humiliated like this in life and could not recall any single moment in my life. I felt painless for there are people around me who even after getting so much of wrath and pain in life fight back with incredible guts and succeed in life. Eeshan Awasthi was just another character sketch of such persona. So was Ram Nikumbh the teacher who helped to bring back the original Eeshan who was lost in the peer pressure and the family pressure - the pressure that grasps the originality of a lots of kids which we the educated ones call the rat race of competition.

Yeah I was sad till tomorrow, I always used to think like a deprived one as I lost someone special, I always thought as if I am deceived and neglected but not today for I have seen people who never got any option other than getting deceived, getting lost, getting neglected and getting deprived not only by these mere mortals surviving the fierce competition in this earth rather sometimes even by the God! The Almighty himself/herself ( actually not very particular about the gender of God! Hope The Almighty excuses me for that).

Wasting energy and time on something that never deserved both is cowardice - its only because we feel scared about our future and love to live with our past. The result is we ruin our present without even understanding that. And the time we realise this our present becomes our past and our future becomes our present - the same future about which we feared to think someday. After watching TARE ZAMEEN PAR I believe life is gifted to us to do something worthy in life. People around you don't even have the basic necessities of life and you dream of getting all that you aspire/ desire. Life is about giving a look at them those deprived ones who also have the same right of having all comforts in life but the situation they are in does not allow them to do so. We crib because we don't get our share of brain work for the day, we don't get a sudoku to solve or for that reason because despite having brain we don't want to solve the problems of life.....think about them who want to face all the questions, troubles, puzzles and problems bravely but are deprived of a sound and thinking brain that is needed to do so!!! We shied out from OUTBOUND think about them who want to climb mountain but were deprived from having legs. We want to get separated from parents isn't it? Hold on a second guys - just think about those orphans who die to call someone his or her dad and mom someday and die with such wishes being not fulfilled (Plenty of examples please get some time out from partying and having fun and do visit an orphanage). You cry because someone left you they don't even have anyone to leave them - so tell me are you more neglected or they?

This is what is going in my mind for the last 24 hours and I do pray to God to keep this facts rolling in my mind. Yes till now in my life I have been among one of those mortals who used to crib about being neglected, deprived and deceived but TARE ZAMEEN PAR changed the attitude. After all why to watch a movie that can't shake your inner sense and does not entertain you? The movie succeed to entertain us with the emotional crunch it has given (many of my pals here have shed tears watching the movie). Yes the concept of movie making in India is changing and as I told in the last line the movie has indeed succeed to create impact. Its now to see how much we succeed to carry forward the food for thought that is provided by this SPLENDID MOVIE.

What more guys? TARE ZAMEEN PAR rocks!!!!!!!!!!!

a fresh start to be the complete manager

Last year was one of the most eventful years I had in my life. A mixed kind of year that showed me both the highs and the lows possible in my life. Someone special left me in such a way only to make me realise that she will never come back. The making of the Zorro song, working for BrandScan as a PL, getting placements, struggle in forming study groups and amidst all that slowly but surely i adapted myself to the surroundings something that i failed to do last year!!!!!! Confidence once again became my one of the best buddies and I came back to my normal self - someone that I was prior to 26th june 2005. The outlook changed though the inherent values and morals remaining the very old and the same :-)

Emotions had always played a big role in my life. I am quite a bit emotional but the so called "failure to handle a relationship" helped me to learn a lot of things. With passage of time the emotional quotient in my life took a backstage making out a more practical and determined soul of me. Thanks to all of them who supported me during that time - to my parents, my best buddies and all the strangers who even after knowing almost nothing about my life gave some of their precious time and words.

A new dawn started right from the day I entered back in this campus. But realization of it took quite sometime. This is me and this is my life and always there can be a better tomorrow for me provided I make the best out of the today I am living. That's exactly what I am doing and will strive to do. Thorns are their and without them never has a rose blossomed. So I accept them as a part n parcel of my life. So are the backbiters, morons and losers who only know how to make fun of others (I call them a bunch of bloody idiots who failed somewhere in their life and are always a lookout for some other failures in somebody else's life). These people will be there everywhere and You have to walk along with them yet distinctly ahead and noticeable. This is the biggest lesson that I have learnt from these 2 years in this B School. May be realization of this fact only makes us better managers there by completing the theme THE COMPLETE MANAGER. Life has always been a learning journey though most of the things learnt in the hard way. But this is the way I am surviving all the difficult tests so far and working to survive the highly uncertain future!!!!!!!1