Ankahi, ansuni

Kuchh batein jo ansuni si reh jati hain,
Kuchh batein jo ankahi si reh jati hain,
Khamosh wo palkein thirak thirak ke kuchh kehna chahen,
Par fir bhi ashk jo ankhon me hi reh jate hain.

Dil me hai josh naya umang naya magarr,
Jajbaton par ab unka nahi hota hai asar,
Hua hai kuchh is baat ka ehsaas to hai par,
Un baton ko suljha na sake hum bhi chahkar.

Vyarth koshishen aashaon k tod hain rahe,
Naye raahein bhi jane kyun muh mod hain rahe,
Ankahi wo batein aaj bhi kuchh na kahe,
Sukhe hain nain taki ashk aaj bhi na bahe.

Rahon me mile naye log aur nayi rahtein,
Bhul gaye purane sang purani chahtein,
Par fir bhi jab wo aaj bhi kuchh hai bolti,
Ankahi ansuni batein rokti muskurahatein.

Chahat ne dhundh li raah nayi ummeed bhi naye,
Bhul purani batein hum aage badh gaye,
Badal diya jajbaton ka rukh rote hum nahi,
Aate jate dinon ko khushiyon se jee hum rahe,

Fir se kisi purane ne ek din yaad kar,
Chintit kiya hame kya hoga iska asar?
Niklenge kya to baat jo kabhi na tha kaha?
Yaad aayenge kya ashk chale the jinko bhulkar?

Na hua kuchh aisa mujhme main reh gaya atal,
Keh di batein hamne hamse jo chubhte rahete the pal pal,
Kahin mujhe aram mila kahin uska dil dukha,
Kabhi to use sukun mila jab tuta mere khwabon ka mahal.

Kuchh gham mile kuchh khushiyan aur ek ehsaas hua
Chahte nata tuta ho ya bhula wo pichhla jo tha hua,
Aage badhne k raah me fir bhi thokar hun tab tak khate hain,
Jab tak ankahi baton ko kehke sukun hum nahi pate hain.

Ankahi baton ko kehne se man holka hota hai,
Ankahi baton ko sun dil aakhri aansu rota hai,
Bharmukt hokar hi fir hum jeete naya jeevan,
Aane wala har pal har kal fir sukhad hota hai.

Bag of mixed feelings!!!!!!

The week has been like a bag of mixed feelings. To start off I got my dream profile I requested for and will be staying for another 6 months in Mumbai. But frankly I was not feeling very comfortable with the people in that particular Marketing domain. There seemed to be those pun intended subtle one liners in English and supreme sophistication in this team something I can never relate with me. There was a bit of “ragging” (by telling I have to work till 11 at night, no weekends, I should not have girlfriends etc.) but at the end of it my leave application was approved which meant that for Diwali I am going home and will be joining the team after I come back seeing my near and dear ones.

Yesterday I watched the directorial debut of Naseeruddin Shah titled “Yun Hota to Kya Hota”. Another masterpiece I must say the movie has 4 stories running simultenously with one common destination America and one common mishap that will change everyone’s life. Great movie developed around the incident of 9/11. Of late I have become one of the biggest fans of Naseer Saab. I wish to meet him someday and looking forward to see some more great films from him either as an actor or through his directorial ventures.

A thing that has become a menace in my life of late is my credit card. This is the first time I am using it so it took some time for me to understand how the payment schedule works and now that I am well acquainted with it things are fine but the follies I committed in its usage before getting the feel to use it properly is killing me. Have taken a credit of around 28000 bucks (mostly air tickets to Bangalore, home and back to Mumbai and some more shopping) and have paid a sum of Rs.15000 already. The thing that is bugging me is I still have to pay around 17000 more which makes the tally to 32 grand which is 4 grand more than the amount I had borrowed. Only one thing that comes to my mind these days: I HATE USING CREDIT CARDS AND WILL NOT USE IT MUCH AFTERWARDS. For booking flight tickets its ok but for shopping? NEVER NEVER.

So this is how the week has been so far. The weekend is pretty quiet by choice as I did not feel like doing many things this weekend. Sometimes it’s good to take a hiatus from long weekend trips and spending time with yourself. For me it helps to realize my faults much better way and identify the good things I did and I want to do in near future. Yeah one more thing the lady I like very much is fine and has an important day coming up in her life just after 34 more days. God bless her and in the ending note GOD BLESS ALL.

Movie Critics: Welcome to Sajjanpur

Shyam Benegal is one of the master directors of India who have always carved a name for creating something meaningful, something thought provoking and something that is far more than those nonsense movies that take our 2 and a half hours but at the end of it we feel it was not worth spending that much amount of time.

"Welcome to Sajjanpur" is essentially a comedy movie that laughs loud on the daily life of a village, the superstitions that are still there and in the course it narrates a beautiful story of many lives of a villages intangled someway or the other. The picture of an Indian village is so well portrayed in this movie, a trademark of Mr. Benegal in all his movies and at the same time there are quite a few incidents that actually tell you about the primitive mentality of the Indian villagers which is still there very much. A eunuch cannot stand in elections, a lady is forced to marry a dog only to cure her fate, 2 lovers were hanged to death just because the lady was a widow and the man showed courage to marry her again. Then there was a villian (a proper gunda) who was the previous sarpanch and has enough manpower to scare away the people of the village. The movie does not only allow you to laugh your heart out it also allows you to use your intellect to think about the conditions and relate them with the circumstances that you might have witnessed had you been ever to a village. The movie forces you to think about the future of Indian villages and forces you to believe that development is much more than a Grameen Sadak Pariyojna, setting up of hospitals or providing electricity in all the villages which is not there for 23 hours (people are lucky if they find electricity for an hour a day).

Brilliant performances by Shreyash Talpade, Amrita Rao and Divya Dutta. Ila Arun is already a well established actress who can portray any kind of character in movies. Ravi Kishen came as a surprise package while Rajeshwari Sachdeva stole the show in the particular Letter Reading scene. Kunal Kapoor is good in that short cameo. I wish this talented guy gets some more substantial roles in movies to exploit his talent and show it to the world.

A brilliant comedy which had not vulgarity. Remainded me of those times when Hrishikesh Mukherjee used to make brilliant movies like Chupke Chupke or Golmal which were sarcastic at times, funny on the other times. Last but not the least : Thank You Mr. Benegal for gifting a brilliant comedy sans any cheap dialogues or vulgarly humourous visuals!!!!

Ajeeb daastan hai yeh

Daastan ajeeb hi hote hain, Shuru hokar khatam bhi hote hain,
Kyun inse gaane banate hain,,Kyun sabhi aaj bhi gate hain,
K ajeeb dastan hai yeh, kahan hai shuru kahan hai khatam,
Yeh manjilen hain kaun si, na tum samajh sako aur na hum,
Har koi yahan hai alag alag unki manjil bhi hai alag alag,
Jano bas khud ki manjil ko, pehchano uska har ek pag,
Dusron ki manjilon ko tum kyun yun vyarth samajhne jate ho,
Wo dukhate hain tumhara dil, tum dhang se ro bhi nahi pate ho,
Bin mehnat k kuchh bhi jo mile mol unka samajh nahi pate hain,
Ghar k karele taaze hain par bahar se kharidke hi khate hain.
Banto tum pyaar bas unko jo mahatva tumhara samajhte hain,
Unka kya ho hain mahatvaheen jo khud hi khud se ulajhte hain.
Maine bhi kahin kisi mod pe apno ka dil jaroor dukhaya hai,
Tabhi maine jinhe mana tha apna unse bas gham hi paaya hai.
Waqt waise hi beet ta hai jaise tum jaise use bitate ho,
Durghatna se hai der bhali yeh tum sab bhul kyun jate ho,
Uncha karke sar mango maafi jinka dil tumne dukhaya hai,
Par bas unse hi jinko tumne kisi mod pe apna paaya hai,
Socho tum bhala har insaan ka un sabme tum bhi shamil ho,
Mat karwao ehsaas kisiko unhe khud ehsaas yeh karne do,
Jeewan me jab har ek insan karmon ko samajhta jayega,
Khush hoga achchhe karmo par, galatiyan fir nahi duhrayega.
Na honge wo dastan fir ajeeb, shuru honge par na honge khatam,
Pehchanenge hum sab apno ko, samjhenge manjilon ko tum aur hum.

From the heart of an ardent fan of FasTrack watches!!!

I come across people who aspire to have a Rolex, an Omega or a Mont Blanc. I have known many people who boast having never tried an Indian brand of watches (all that they possess are Swatch (most common), Rado, Foce, Citizen, Police, Tommy Hilfiger, Espirit and many other not able to recall at this moment). I wonder why these people never have a look towards the very Indian watchmaking company TITAN. Somehow I find all the TITAN products very nice and its one of the most liked brand of mine and when people talk about sub brands of it I die for FasTrack watches and eye gears.

This monday I purchased my third FasTrack watch (eventually the third watch after I joined this company). Somehow most of the designs of this particular brand looks very cool and perfect for me. I have an allergy with leather bands so it is automatically out of my preferences. The remaining ones are those watches that come with fibre bands or metal bands. Again while coming down to metal bands most of the watch making companies make those watches that come with a loose fit on your wrist and keeps on rotating throughout the day (Gosh! I get so irritated with it, have such a watch but really don't like to wear it much). And among the fibre straps I already possess 2 FasTracks with such straps.

So going by the marketing fundas if I zero down on the kind of product I was looking for it was a big square dialed watch with metal strap but having a firm fitting on my broad wrists. I looked into the brands of Espirit and Tommy Hilfiger for the first time in search of such a kind of watch but alas my expectations were not met there. So finally I visited World of Titan once again looking for a watch with desired features and found an amazing FasTrack watch waiting for me. :)

Well people who are blindsided by all those big foreign brands do visit a Titan showroom and have a look across all the models of various brands. I guess India has come of an age in manufacturing watches and our watches can withstand competition even globally. But again for that we Indians should have a belief in our products isn't it? Well Titan can keep this certificate of mine as the feedback of a satisfied customer and can offer me a job in branding or advertising profile for their free and good publicity. :-D

I walk ALONE by choice!!!

Whenever I try to remain happy don’t know what problem people have. Well its not right to blame people rather I guess time has come to confront the Almighty regarding this matter. Well dear God what problem do you have? Whenever I see a ray of light why everytime it’s lost even before I can see the path and destination properly? And then there are some so shitty people who do the wrong things, touch the wrong nerves of mine and yet expect to be respected and loved. Damn them. These b****rds are just so self centered. These people prefer to make decisions for others, try to impose them, are so ready to find out the fault in you and the worst part they just forget to look at the dirt in their own collars. May be I am getting too loud and ruthless in taking out the anger.

Then there is an angel. She has been so nice to me and somewhere when I try to do some good to her I unknowingly keep irritating her. She never admits that though. Holy shit what’s going on around me? Why the bloody useless heart of mine does not understand all are not destined to get love in this world???? Too bad for me it seems. Things are getting clumsier. Well why the hell I not understand that enough is enough. I just hate myself for irritating her. Damn me. Had I not tried to provide such vivid explanations nothing would have been wrong. Though I feel I have not committed any mistake but yes I should not have done that also. So that’s it. Its better I keep myself in an indefinite isolation. The alone you are the complete you are because it gets into a habit for a person like me who is the only kid of parents, moreover I do believe firmly having loved somebody if I have not got her in life its better to be alone. At least its better as I won’t be running from this truth that I am alone. So in short life is completely screwed up in all aspects. And this time I choose not to follow any ray of light any more only to loose it again at some point further in life!!!!!!!!

My life and words unsaid to all - Season 2 and final sesason

I met her. She met me. I tried to be happy. She also tried to be happy. I tried to behave normally. But she could not do that. With every passing moment I felt like neglected, deserted. The more I was with her this feeling went on creeping inside me giving me a chilled spine. The emptiness inside my heart was killing me like anything and I was just so helpless!

This is the synopsis of what happened in a meeting of one and half hour in the mall. I had just met SP in Forum and was beaming with happiness, the happiness of meeting someone you wanted to meet for so many days, whom you have not seen for more than 3 years and the happiness to find she is the same pretty girl with such gleeful and glib talking as she was 3 years ago when I met her in IMS (though the interaction with SP was very less during those days). I went to Oasis thinking that I won’t behave anything different from the way I used to be when I was just a friend of SA and did that too. The initial half an hour was so good with all that general talks and then as the conversation went to greater heights and shifted to those softer and “never discussed properly” kind of topics the situation worsened. SA started behaving as if she is not able to hear my questions (read indifferent) and suddenly there was some sort of health problem which happened to her because of which we was not feeling well (this problem happened after I drifted the topic from general stuffs). Never did she ever speak the bitter truths and discuss her problems with me frankly during our days of togetherness nor did she do that this time also. She always gifted me with a sense of guilt even for those mistakes I had never committed and she maintained that yesterday. So there I was so right in telling her that: She has not changed.

The discovery of the fact that whatever we talk and whatever we do is informed to MKP with such swiftness and agility made me numb. Gosh I could not believe that she even informed him that I had reached Oasis mall before coming to meet me and was providing him with a live commentary from time to time.

So what did I get after meeting her? A heavy heart, wet and tearful eyes and a bad mood is what I could gather after meeting her yesterday. But yes there was one thing that I realized for which I wanted to thank her. It is like this:

My heart was once broken. I SUCCUMBED yet SURVIVED. I put a lot of effort to gather back my courage, hope, optimism, confidence and made my way through those worse days of my life at TAPMI in second year. And all these I did alone with some precious help from my dearest pals: Dentist, Stun the Sun and Jalim and yes last but definitely not the least a special friend whom I met during February. I LEARNT what it means to move ahead and even thought of finding a girl who will be always with me and I will be hers forever with a hope that everything will go RIGHT this time.

But yesterday I realized that for once I survived the blow and the pain of being neglected and deserted but if any day again history repeats I won’t be able to put that much effort for my survival. Precisely it will be very difficult for me to be my normal self if again a girl makes me feel neglected or deserted because this Zorroan does not have that much courage to face life after another betrayal or a harsh NO from any other girl.

It feels like Love is CRAP and I would love to thank SA for that. I feel like that today as the lady you love does not tell a yes and the ladies who love you are not able to hear a yes from you. At the end it just becomes a Vicious Circle. Would like to get some comments on the aforesaid statement.