My life and the words unsaid to all!

I did put on my thinking cap and brooded over the lost relationship one more time. But believe it or not every time I thought about the broken relationship, the more committed I wanted to be - for the lady who has left me only with one last promise to be kept forever.....a promise of never coming back. How is life after that? He he its nice actually........waiting for phone calls that are never made, waiting for someone to take care of mine sitting several hundred miles away from me which does not happen these days, waiting for someone to all and ask to sing her favorite songs and ending up singing those songs for my loneliness, brooding over my past happy days and thinking about those crucial points in the relationship where I had made mistakes....yes now I think only had I not made any mistake nothing worse would have happened after all no one can clap with a single hand right!!!! I don't regret any more for them because first of all no use......its very very filmy that you repent for something wrong and everything becomes alright. In real life you are really lucky if you get a second chance........be it anything! Often in life you never get a second chance.

Well people told me to move on in life after all that is what all should do. I listened to them and moved on in life. Did a few adventures and misadventures with love but every time I did that there was something inside that used to tell me I am committing another mistake to hide the previous mistakes and at the end of the day I ended up deleting all the new made net friends in rediffbol, avoiding some of my then good friends (girls obviously) who quite surprisingly to my assumption were interested in me [Well its my assumption......I might be wrong ;-)]. In the mean time I moved up in life, penned several lyrics and poems, made some good friends and lost them at some point of time, saw best of my days here in b school, gave a thought to my old school of thought and found me more accepting and accommodating with thoughts and philosophies of Rishabh (Surprisingly Yes it is TRUE). I even bagged a placement - yes in every respect I moved ahead in life. I smiled every time i felt like crying, I dreamed I every time I was about to see another nightmarish day, I loved my life every time I felt no one loves me, I tried to get attracted to lady every time I remembered her - and believe me I was successful in all these endeavors except for one thing..........every time I wanted go away the more I ended up loving her. I don't know how many people will believe these words of mine but probably this is one of the occasions of my life where I have been so candid.

I have moved ahead in every aspect so far in life except for one thing love!!!! If lust were everything in love I probably would have moved ahead easily (rather there would not have had any stuff like moving ahead at all) but the beauty of love is that lust has nothing to do with it. I dream of success, I work for it and I will achieve all that are achievable in life except for a thing - I may not be able to love anyone in my life again. Apart from that long live dreams and aspirations. Long live to the dreams and aspirations of every single creature in this world. One more thing next time you go for a break up people please think of whether the 1000 reasons for which you are breaking up are strong enough to counter the fact that you love her/him. Hope she stays happy throughout her life with her new found and everlasting love :-).

I do remember of these lyrics from the movie Veer Zaara - a classic love story which describe me very well:

Jaane Kyun, Khwaabon Ka Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Jaane Kyun, Yaadon Ki Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Yaadein, Laayi Hain, Khushiyaan Bhi, Aansoo Bhi

Jaane Kyun, Ik Aisa Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Barse Jo Rang Itne Saare, Rangeen Huwe Sab Nazaare

Lekin Mera Dil Kahin Bhi, Lagta Nahin Bin Tumhaare

Tumko, Bas Tumko, Dil Dhhoondhhe Dil Maange

Jaane Kyun, Har Lamha Ye Sitam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Ye Sitam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Jaane Kyun, Khwaabon Ka Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Mausam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Ye Vaadi Ab So Gayi Hai, Kohre Mein Hi Kho Gayi Hai

Saari Fiza Saans Roke, Gumsum Si Ab Ho Gayi Hai

Saari, Duniya Mein, Ab Koyi Nahin Jaise

Jaane Kyun, Bas Mera Hamdam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Hamdam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Jaane Kyun, Yaadon Ki Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Shabnam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Yaadein, Laayi Hain, Khushiyaan Bhi, Aansoo Bhi

Jaane Kyun, Ik Aisa Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Sangam Hai, Aur Main Hoon

Hope you got bored after reading this he he ;-)

TaArE ZaMeEn PaR!!!!!!!!

I never thought I will end up writing about a movie in my blog. But TARE ZAMEEN PAR deserved to break that promise. Every time in life I faced a problem or I got hurt by someone I used to think that I am the most unlucky person of this world. I used to feel dejected, lost and finished. Its another facet of my life that I being an optimistic person don't take lessons from the deceptions and continue believing on people further to get hurt more and more. But that is not the agenda to describe how I am what I want to tell is that after watching TARE ZAMEEN PAR I recollected whether I ever got humiliated like this in life and could not recall any single moment in my life. I felt painless for there are people around me who even after getting so much of wrath and pain in life fight back with incredible guts and succeed in life. Eeshan Awasthi was just another character sketch of such persona. So was Ram Nikumbh the teacher who helped to bring back the original Eeshan who was lost in the peer pressure and the family pressure - the pressure that grasps the originality of a lots of kids which we the educated ones call the rat race of competition.

Yeah I was sad till tomorrow, I always used to think like a deprived one as I lost someone special, I always thought as if I am deceived and neglected but not today for I have seen people who never got any option other than getting deceived, getting lost, getting neglected and getting deprived not only by these mere mortals surviving the fierce competition in this earth rather sometimes even by the God! The Almighty himself/herself ( actually not very particular about the gender of God! Hope The Almighty excuses me for that).

Wasting energy and time on something that never deserved both is cowardice - its only because we feel scared about our future and love to live with our past. The result is we ruin our present without even understanding that. And the time we realise this our present becomes our past and our future becomes our present - the same future about which we feared to think someday. After watching TARE ZAMEEN PAR I believe life is gifted to us to do something worthy in life. People around you don't even have the basic necessities of life and you dream of getting all that you aspire/ desire. Life is about giving a look at them those deprived ones who also have the same right of having all comforts in life but the situation they are in does not allow them to do so. We crib because we don't get our share of brain work for the day, we don't get a sudoku to solve or for that reason because despite having brain we don't want to solve the problems of life.....think about them who want to face all the questions, troubles, puzzles and problems bravely but are deprived of a sound and thinking brain that is needed to do so!!! We shied out from OUTBOUND think about them who want to climb mountain but were deprived from having legs. We want to get separated from parents isn't it? Hold on a second guys - just think about those orphans who die to call someone his or her dad and mom someday and die with such wishes being not fulfilled (Plenty of examples please get some time out from partying and having fun and do visit an orphanage). You cry because someone left you they don't even have anyone to leave them - so tell me are you more neglected or they?

This is what is going in my mind for the last 24 hours and I do pray to God to keep this facts rolling in my mind. Yes till now in my life I have been among one of those mortals who used to crib about being neglected, deprived and deceived but TARE ZAMEEN PAR changed the attitude. After all why to watch a movie that can't shake your inner sense and does not entertain you? The movie succeed to entertain us with the emotional crunch it has given (many of my pals here have shed tears watching the movie). Yes the concept of movie making in India is changing and as I told in the last line the movie has indeed succeed to create impact. Its now to see how much we succeed to carry forward the food for thought that is provided by this SPLENDID MOVIE.

What more guys? TARE ZAMEEN PAR rocks!!!!!!!!!!!

a fresh start to be the complete manager

Last year was one of the most eventful years I had in my life. A mixed kind of year that showed me both the highs and the lows possible in my life. Someone special left me in such a way only to make me realise that she will never come back. The making of the Zorro song, working for BrandScan as a PL, getting placements, struggle in forming study groups and amidst all that slowly but surely i adapted myself to the surroundings something that i failed to do last year!!!!!! Confidence once again became my one of the best buddies and I came back to my normal self - someone that I was prior to 26th june 2005. The outlook changed though the inherent values and morals remaining the very old and the same :-)

Emotions had always played a big role in my life. I am quite a bit emotional but the so called "failure to handle a relationship" helped me to learn a lot of things. With passage of time the emotional quotient in my life took a backstage making out a more practical and determined soul of me. Thanks to all of them who supported me during that time - to my parents, my best buddies and all the strangers who even after knowing almost nothing about my life gave some of their precious time and words.

A new dawn started right from the day I entered back in this campus. But realization of it took quite sometime. This is me and this is my life and always there can be a better tomorrow for me provided I make the best out of the today I am living. That's exactly what I am doing and will strive to do. Thorns are their and without them never has a rose blossomed. So I accept them as a part n parcel of my life. So are the backbiters, morons and losers who only know how to make fun of others (I call them a bunch of bloody idiots who failed somewhere in their life and are always a lookout for some other failures in somebody else's life). These people will be there everywhere and You have to walk along with them yet distinctly ahead and noticeable. This is the biggest lesson that I have learnt from these 2 years in this B School. May be realization of this fact only makes us better managers there by completing the theme THE COMPLETE MANAGER. Life has always been a learning journey though most of the things learnt in the hard way. But this is the way I am surviving all the difficult tests so far and working to survive the highly uncertain future!!!!!!!1

Inspirations began @ Episode

Inspirations have always played a role in my life. As posted in the last post I get inspired very easily but often find it hard to carry it on. So through inspirations my journey as a blogger though has started but at this very moment I am surrounded by various confusions and conflicts. What are the things that I can write here? What is the extent after which a post becomes objectionable? How much can I write here? Blah Blah Blah. Ok enough of thoughts and worries. Let me cut the crap and begin right here.
Life was never smoother here @ TAPMI before. It all began with Episode this year a time that helped me to turnaround and rediscover some of my lost arts. The words of "Zorro Song" was something that I wanted to tell myself from a long time and may be it is the reason for which it came so spontaneously. Awsome music by Ashwin Narang was behind all the inspirations (mark the word inspiration! I told inspirations play a big role in my life) and Ankush was so superb and perfect with his guitar! Kudos to the whole Zorro Team and the Core singing team (comprised of Ashwin, Ankush, Nidhi D, Pankaj Jain and last but surely not the least Probal Das for his precious and timely comments so that we should not overdo during the song). Cannot forget the awsome PPT made by Baba and team (I still have the PPT with me and it will be with me as long as possible). Not only the Dream Theme rather the whole of the Episode is till date the best phase of my life at TAPMI. I heavily enjoyed the events as I went on jelling well with several junies and strengthened my bond with some of my fellow mates. The impact of Zorro is still evident @ TAPMI and at this verge of life I feel proud to be a Zorroan. Thanks to Vicky Sood had he not told that I am not in DON team I would not have got such memorable and cherishing moments that I will remember and value whole of my life!!!!!!!!!
Love you all Zorroans. I salute all the efforts made by each Zorroan and hope all the Zorroans continue to believe "Its never late to rise and change the world" and put cent percent effort in whatever they do because "We are the Zorro". Well I really don't want to sound selfish here hence wish all a very best in their future endeavors because we all have a ZORRO inside us!!!!!!!

an inspired begining

Blogs to me is a kind of maintainence of an e-diary. Diary writing is one of the habits that I never left irrespective of age, time, place and situations. Blogging never inspired me as I was happy with my blue diaries filled up with my thoughts, memorable incidents, emotions and some unsaid words and unshed tears (the phrase is courtsey one of my best friends Arun).

Why blogging then? Really don't know. One of the reasons may be because of non willingness to write any more rather type words at a faster pace :-). Hmmmm more seriously all began as an inspiration. Its very true that I get inspired very easily but find it difficult to continue the inspiration. The very first blog that I read was one of my good friends here @ TAPMI. Such an worderful expression of ideas and vivid subjects discussed in "narang-on-a-quest.blogspot.com" inspired me at once to start one of mine but the flame needed some more oxygen to get started I guess. That was provided through the other two blogs read by me: "boogiewormie.blogspot.com" and "twigging.blogspot.com" the first one of one of my senie and the other of my junie.

These three Bloggers and their blogposts were sufficient to ignite my mind and make myself mentally ready to start my own blogposts. Hence officially I begin my journey towards the world of bloggers with this first post.

A lot to write hence could not make my mind from where to start and how to start. So finishing off the first one in a confused state...confused what to write in the next. One more thing to find out is whether this inspiration continues for long or fades away soon. This is the problem of being a frickle minded fellow you are never sure what you are going to do the next moment!